My Neighbour's New Visitors

My neighbor has a lot of new visitors in his house. One came with her husband. I have noticed that every night she takes a bucket of water to the bathroom behind the house as if she wants to bath, then leaves the water and enter one room behind the compound. After some time, she will come out, pour the water and go back to their house with an empty bucket.

Yesterday, she did it again. I just went and carried the bucket of water and took it back to their house. Water is scarce these days. When she came back after like 30 mins, she was pretending and wiping her body like somebody who has taken her bath

Her husband: "where is the bucket you took to bath?"
Her: " I left it in the bathroom"
Me " That's the bucket over there" pointing to the bucket

Temple run don start. Me eh, I left to go and sleep. It was getting late.

My brother's girlfriend

My brother's girlfriend is behaving as if she doesn't hear well. Each time her phones rings when she is in our house, she will be saying "eh, eh" and she would run outside before talking.

This morning it rang again, she was not close to her phone, so I picked the call and helped her to put it on hands free, since she doesn't hear well. She is sitting with my brother. The caller is talking but both of them are just opening their eyes as if they are shocked.

There is no time to find out what is happening. I am going out.

Uncle from the village...

My uncle from the village is now in town. He is doing everything possible to stay young. He has shaved his hair, dyed it black and has even told us never to call him uncle in front of strangers ( young girls to be precise).

Yesterday he brought home this beautiful girl. He introduced me as his sister (no problem).

As we were all discussing I mistakenly said

" uncle, you remember that day when we were going to the farm with your wife and five children like that?"

The girl: " so you are married and you have up to five children?"

She got up and angrily left. My uncle followed her outside begging.

Should I stay here and wait for him to come back?

The passerby by

This matter na both ways oh!!.
Yesterday I went out for a stroll. I was feeling bored. On coming back, i saw my uncles wife in the company of a man. I almost ran away in fear that it was my uncle. Taking a closer look, I realize that the man was shorter and rounder. Trouble dey . He looked like my uncle's friend, Paddy.

He was even carrying my aunt's bag. I just kept on walking quietly behind them. When we were almost at our compound, I took a short cut and went and stood in front of the house. He said good bye to my aunt and embraced her.

I could not let him go without greeting

Me: "uncle paddy good evening oh"

Uncle paddy froze and started stammering. My uncle rushed out of the house.

Uncle: " Paddy, what are you doing here?"
Him: " I'm, I'm just passing"
Me: " yes Mr passerby"

My uncle pulled my ears thinking that I'm rude and send me inside. On entering inside I saw my aunt. (When did she enter? Spider woman)

Now if I say the truth, I'll be in trouble with my aunt. If I don't my uncle would certainly come and pull my ears again. Chaii confusion

My Sweet Uncle

I lost my phone and I've been begging my father and big brother to do charity and buy me a phone. I was almost succeeding oh, then my uncle discouraged them. He reminded them of all the mischief I've been causing. So they are just quiet now. Ok
This uncle has been dropping application for driving work but nobody has ever called him. I saw another driver advertising his services by posting his number on various locations on the road. To help my uncle I moved around and added his own number on the notice.

This got the man so angry when he saw it. I advised him to call my uncle and pretend that he wants to give him a job. My uncle answered the call and went.

The next thing I heard was
" ayo, aye, I don die oh"
Hard knocks. The man nearly broke my uncle head with crack. That will teach him to leave me alone.